What We Can Learn from “Unbroken”

It wasn’t a typical Friday night for me. Normally, Friday’s are for taking it easy and unwinding a bit from a busy week and staying at home, but this time around the husband and myself went out to the movies and we saw “Unbroken”.  I had read the book last summer and enjoyed it immensely.  Once I heard a movie was going to be released based on the book and the true story of Louis Zamperini, I knew that I had to get to the theaters and see it eventually.

I left the movie theater that night with a renewed sense of purpose and a complete new perspective on what it is like to go through something that is “hard”.  In fact, I came up with a small list that I will share with you below.

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1.  My definition of “tough circumstances” changed.

I did read the book “Unbroken”, but the movie really did a great job matching the words and the scenes in my head into actual pictures that I could relate it all to.  The unimaginable circumstances that Louis Zamperini survived will probably forever be in the back of my mind.

I go through each day and almost always something comes up and I think to myself, ‘Well, this is going to be difficult’, or ‘This sucks, how am I going to get this done.’  I know when those moments come at me again, I need to look at it with a new perspective.  Anything is possible.  Anything can be done.  Anything can be survived.  Nothing can be as hard as surviving that many days at sea or that many days being abused mentally and physically in those POW camps.

Life is really not at all bad considering what others, like Louis, have gone through in their lives as a soldier.  I need to be thankful daily about how good I’ve got it and keep things into perspective.

2.  The right attitude can make anything possible.  It is your choice.

I honestly do not think Louis Zamperini would have survived anything that he went through in WWII if he didn’t have the right attitude.

During their time at sea on the raft, he was the one that kept the other two on their toes.  He truly had a belief that they would survive and kept encouraging the others to stay positive as well.  Without that attitude and positive encouragement, there is no way they could have lasted half that time in the sea.

It just goes to show that a positive attitude is contagious and it helps you see the good in almost any situation.  If we are able to control our attitude appropriately, then we can battle any adversity that comes our way.  Battling adversity is a part of life and successful people use it as an opportunity rather than an excuse.

3.  Forgiveness is the best alternative to hate and it can set you free.

Louis Zamperini was mentally and physically tortured on a daily basis in the POW camps in Japan during WWII.  He was, unfortunately, targeted daily by the hated “Bird”.  Louis could do everything right and it didn’t matter.  The Bird had it out for him and never gave him a moment of freedom from abuse.

Several years after the war and after a long battle of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), however, Louis found his way back to Japan.  He not only set foot back on the soil of the very country that kept him captive, but he forgave his captors, including The Bird.  He even wanted to confront and forgive The Bird in person, but he declined to meet with Louis.  No matter, Louis still forgave.

Forgiveness.  This is a powerful tool that we must all have in our arsenal.  I know there are many people that have come and gone throughout our lives that have done us wrong, but if we do not forgive then we are the ones ultimately living in the cage guilt.  We need to love people when they least expect it or least deserve it, just like Louis did with The Bird.

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If you have not seen the movie, then I highly recommend you to read the book and then see the movie.  The book is rich in detail and gives you not only every detail of Louis Zamperini’s life, but it also is a great historical account on WWII.

So many soldiers have stories very similar to Mr. Zamperini and for that we owe so much appreciation and thanks to those WWII Veterans.  The strength and resolve they all had (and have while some are serving as we speak) is the greatest gift for us all.  Not only are we protected, but we can also learn a great deal from each story.

 

Our Daily Commitments

Gratitude.

That word is popping up a lot lately…In books that I read (Jon Gordon’s “Positive Dog”), in other blogs that I follow (check out Natural Typologies blog post), quotes on Twitter (follow @JoshuaMedcalf and/or @jdgilbert19 for daily motivation), or just within normal conversation.

As much as I have seen it lately, I almost take that as a sign.  For me, it has been a simple adjustment, but I wanted to take it a step further and implement it into my team’s daily commitments.  Our daily commitments are something that we strive to do everyday and we know if all else fails and we complete that list, then the day is a success.  We have “won the day”.

Our society and Division I Athletics in general, is very results focused.  Our goal as a team is to focus on the little things that will make us great people and it is our hope then the results will follow.  That is what our daily commitments are all about:

 

Our Team’s Daily Commitments

1. One Word
2. “What Went Well” Journals
3. Be FOCUSED and PRESENT at practice
4. Have and COMMIT to a practice plan
5. Treat people the way you wish to be treated
6. Have a great ATTITUDE of GRATITUDE
7. RISE ABOVE negative thoughts and actions
8. REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE HERE

 

These daily commitments are simple and focused.  If we take care of these 8 things daily, then we will not only have great attitudes, but we will also be focused and committed.

“One Word” is a concept made popular by author Jon Gordon and his book “One Word That Will Change Your Life”.  After reading that book, I decided it would be the perfect thing to present to our team full of busy student-athletes.  They choose their one word for the school year and focus on it daily.  We do this instead of a long list of goals.  It keeps the focused narrowed and simple.  For example, my word for the school year is “Purpose”.  If I stay focused on my purpose in life, then there is no way that I can’t wake up in the morning ready to conquer the day!

Our second daily commitment is our “What Went Well” Journals.  Many psychologists have recommended this daily journaling activity, but it first came to light when I started regularly reading blog posts from Joshua Medcalf and Jamie Gilbert of the Train to be Clutch team.  We started these journals last semester and it was an eye-opening experience.  Even on days where we struggled, we were able to dig deep and stay positive.  That type of attitude is contagious and we all felt it was one of our most rewarding and rich team bonding semesters yet.

An extra addition to our journals this year will include, what we are grateful for.  Not only will we write down things that went well for the day, what we learned, and an area of growth we discovered, but we will also include something that we are thankful for.  These student-athletes cannot forget how lucky they are to be playing their sport and getting a degree at the same time.  They cannot forget that they have a roof over their heads.  I hope they understand that they are lucky enough to have amazing facilities at their disposal to stay healthy and perfect their craft.

If you are grateful, you are heart-full!

We will never feel stress, if we are always feeling blessed!

We are only 4 days into our practices and workouts for the semester and I can honestly say that I have seen more smiles, I have seen amazing work ethic, and I have seen positive attitudes.  These attitudes are contagious and it is only going to grow and when it does, we will start seeing that anything is possible and our scores will drop.

I can’t wait to write this down in my journal tonight!

 

I Am Not Just a Golf Coach, I Am Also a Life Coach

 

When people ask me what I do for a living I always respond proudly that I am a Head Women’s Golf Coach. Then I almost instantaneously prepare for the numerous questions that follow:  “At a college? Which school? Do you get to play golf everyday?” I answer each question with as much enthusiasm as I can for sounding like a broken record, but as I do, my mind always wanders a bit and I think to myself, “Oh, but it is so much more than that.”

 

If I were to sum up my life’s purpose in one sentence it would be: “I am not just a golf coach, I am a life coach”. While teaching the game of golf and making decisions as a coach, I’m doing more than my job, I’m preparing young women for life after college. 

 

I will teach you honesty.  Not everything I do or say will be what you want to hear. My dad always told me that truth hurts. I think not hearing the truth hurts even more. Honesty is a lost art and I have an obligation to make sure my players understand it, use it to make themselves better people, and continue to be honest to others throughout their lives. Covering up what is actually reality “just to be nice” is not progress. Progress sometimes comes in a package not wrapped up with a shiny bow. Truth equals unconditional love.

 

You will most certainly learn how to deal with adversity. Pain comes in many shapes and sizes and our sport can be heartbreaking. How will we handle heartbreaks? With our heads held high. With a perspective like no other, meaning, that the adversity we are experiencing at any time, WILL make us stronger and WILL prepare us for great things down the road. Without adversity, how can we truly appreciate the times when everything goes perfectly? Adversity is necessary not only for success, but for our survival in our sport and lives.

 

I will want you to understand, more than anything, that your worth is not measured by how many trophies you have on a shelf or hanging on your wall. Who you are is not measured by what you shoot. You are defined by what you contribute to our team and to this society everyday. It is your effort. It is your work ethic. You can make everyday a success if you take care of all the little things and give 100% toward each task. If you do that and fail, in my eyes you still succeed, because you undoubtedly gave it your best. Let’s not forget that if we go after each day and conquer every minute, every hour good things will no doubt come our way. When you leave here, that skill will help you soar to the top!!! 

 

I will want you to keep things simple. Over analyzing can get ugly. Overwhelming yourself can cause unnecessary stress and worry. Taking on too much can lead to frustration and even quitting before the job is complete. Simplicity, in our world of high-tech, instantaneous information, is a beautiful thing. Stress and worry? Trust me, it doesn’t look good on you! One of my philosophies is and always will be to keep things simple. This might frustrate you at times, but it is important that you are aware of this concept because one day you will need to simplify and you need to know how to get there.

 

I will teach you to embrace learning.  If I had a $1 for every time I heard the words “I hate school” I could retire easily.  School is not about the books you (hopefully) open on a daily basis.  It is about the people who surround you.  It is about diversity and keeping an open mind about each other’s differences.  I’ve learned more things, good and bad, from people than I honestly did while in college.  It is important that we know the difference between what is right and what is wrong.  The people around us can teach us that.  Your teammates, other athletes, regular students in your class…they can give you so much.  Don’t discount this.  Look UP from your phones and talk with someone different each day face-to-face.  We need to get out of our social media shells and learn the real way to be social again.  Learning from others will increase your chances of success, but it is not a full-proof plan to avert the negative.  You will still make bad decisions, bad choices, and mistakes.  It won’t matter if you are 21 or 31.  We will not go through life scar free.  Learn from everything.  Learn from the good and learn from the bad.   

 

I can’t say enough about living a purpose driven life.  It gets me up in the morning and motivates me to give my very best everyday.  Leading by example and my players are my focus and when it comes to my job, they absolutely are my first priority. 

 

 

My Telediction

I woke up this morning feeling very unrested. I had a headache and tossed and turned all night long. You could almost compare it to a hangover. Unfortunately, I did not over-indulge in any tasty adult beverages. I believe my ‘hangover’ was due to depression…depression because my favorite show, ‘Revenge’, had it’s season finale and ended for the summer.

It was a two hour finale and it was chock full of drama. There were so many cliff hangers after the finale that it was almost sensory overload. I think that is why I woke up dragging. What on earth am I going to do for 3 months waiting for the season premiere this Fall?!

I immediately started thinking about other possible shows that I could watch or catch up on. I turned my attention to my DVR. I have a few series recorded on there I could watch. I also thought about Netflix. Maybe there is something new and fresh out there for me to start watching. Summer is the perfect time to have mini-marathons of shows anyway!

Ok, ok. I need to slow down a little bit. I feel like, for me, it has gotten out of control. I call it: Telediction. It basically means that I’m addicted to television…particularly series filled with unrealistic drama. Also, as noted above, I might have a slight tendency to pick up on shows that are on Netflix. I have deemed this new “medical term” Netflixia…the addiction of watching shows on Netflix!

Telediction and Netflixia unfortunately take up much of my spare time. I crunched the numbers on myself based on some of my past favorite shows…

I have wasted a total of:

–6.83 days watching ‘Friends’. That’s almost a week worth of watching nothing but straight ‘Friends’. I never missed an episode!

–5.38 days of watching ‘Desperate Housewives’. Again, never missed an episode. That is like taking a week off of work and watching tv for 5 straight days. Probably not healthy…

Probably one of my newest obsessions is the show ‘Gossip Girl’. Started watching it on Netflix over the winter…all 5 seasons. That is a total of 3.25 days of watching those crazy teens from the upper east side. I have yet to watch season 6 and I’m waiting…not so patiently…for Netflix to give me my ‘Netfix’. It could be a slight problem that I check weekly to see if it has been released yet, but I’m going to just ignore it.

‘Revenge’ and ‘Pretty Little Liars’ are very close behind. These are shows that I pretty much just can’t miss!

Yes, it’s a problem, but it sure is entertaining and I guess, in the end, entertainment is exactly what I am addicted to! I know I’m not the only one out there that has these same ‘issues’. Watching our beloved tv shows is the perfect way to pass by some time. What else would we do with all those minutes, hours, days???? Hmmm…perhaps that will be my next post!

10 Things That Annoy Me During the Holidays

**Warning: This is only my opinion and it is meant to be funny. I really do like Christmas and cannot wait to spend time with my family (even if my dad violates #7). But here is my list…ENJOY and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

10. Being Politically Correct

It annoys me only because I’m bad at it. I’ll be the first person to yell “Merry Christmas” to everyone, but I tend to forget that not everyone celebrates Christmas. The last thing I want to do is be insulting…I am southern and have manners you know!

9. Facebook Pictures or Statuses about the gifts you got

I think this is a bad idea for so many reasons. First of all, no one really cares. Bragging is considered very rude where I come from. Second of all, think about what you are doing. You are basically making it very inviting for someone to come to your house and snag your brand new 60″ flat screen tv or the WiiU that your kids got. Please protect your home (and your ego) by keeping this info to yourselves.

8. Two Commercials…

“Every Kiss Begins With Kay”! Congrats Kay commercial…I now have that song stuck in my head from now until Valentine’s Day and it doesn’t make me want your jewelry, it makes me loathe the fact that you have enough money to fill my head with this song on a daily basis. I just want to have one night where I’m not singing this out loud to my pets!

And also, let’s be realistic Lexus…the day I come home and find a Lexus in my driveway with the big red bow on it, might be the day I physically harm my husband for him not telling me he went out and bought a Lexus. I’ve also never heard of anyone getting a Lexus for Christmas…at least it hasn’t been on my Facebook newsfeed yet!

7. Reindeer decorations for your car

Your car is not Rudolph. But I do wish you would fly into the sky and get out of my way so I can get home!

6. Overpopulation of blow-up decorations in your yard

Christmas Carnage…

Don’t get me wrong, I love the blow-up yard decorations. I definitely do not mind the ONE giant blow-up Frosty or Santa at the corner of your yard greeting everyone as they drive by. But I do have something against the yard FILLED with endless blow-up Santas, Frostys, snowglobes, Harley Santas, and Reindeer. Not to mention the fact that during the day, when your lovely overpopulated blow-up decorations are deflated, it looks like Christmas carnage all over your front lawn!

5. Radio Stations that play ALL Christmas music

Yep…I’ll do it!

What am I to do when my favorite radio station starts playing Christmas music all day long from Thanksgiving to Christmas? I do like Christmas music from time to time, but I really start missing regular music. Should I find another station or drive in silence? No, because I didn’t ask Santa for a change in my routine this Christmas!

4. The lights on your house that you left up all year long

Your decorations really are wonderful, except for the fact that I’ve seen them hanging on your house all year long. The icicles have been hanging on your gutters since last Christmas. You can’t fool me just by turning them on during the Holidays!

3. Food gifting

Almond Cheeseball?…Please no!!!

Fruitcakes already have a terrible rep, but cheeseballs and cheeselogs are on another level entirely in my opinion. I do not think processed cheese wadded up in a ball with nuts on it is a sweet gift. I think I would rather have a high five. I would get less germs from you that way!

2. 24 Hours of A Christmas Story

The affects of watching the same movie. All. Day.

I know this will make people mad.  This is a Christmas tradition that almost everyone I know absolutely loves.  But the same movie on all day long?  No thanks.

1. Xmas instead of Christmas

I hate the “X” because I just think it is pure laziness. Not only that, but we are dissing Jesus on his birthday too! It would be like telling my friend Stacy, “Happy Birthday Xy!”. She would not be very amused! It’s not hard to type out 5 more letters! A few more seconds is all it will take to complete the word and not to mention is shows a little more respect to the true meaning of why we celebrate December 25th.

Fortune of the Week

I love fortune cookies! Don’t you just love them too?? Sometimes you might get an inspiring message or great advice…you just never know what you are going to get! I save mine in case I need a laugh or maybe some deep thinking and I feel like I should share these with you!

“Most of the year you are happy as a clam at high tide.”

Such a lovely fortune and one I would agree with completely. Some of you might ask, “Why is a clam so happy at high tide?” Glad you asked. Low tide is the best time to dig for clams. They are more at risk for being found and extracted from the sand by predators! However, at high tide, the clams are in their happy place covered in water and able to eat whatever they want and hidden away from a future clam lover looking to steal them away!

So, saying you are happy as a clam at high tide, is in fact, a very good definition of happy!

Oil Change Anyone??

I have to start this post out by saying when it comes to raffles, I’m probably the most unlucky person there is. However, my husband is also very unlucky. So, put us together and we usually don’t win JACK!

This past weekend, at the Skeeball League Championship (yes, this does exist and yes, this is a whole other story), we entered our names into a raffle. There were 54 teams of three people present at this thing. Meaning, 162 names total written on tiny sheets of paper mixed together in literally a fishbowl. Horrible odds for the unlucky.

Some of the prizes were pretty sweet: iPods, GPS, and a giant TV as a Grand Prize. Those were all the prizes out on the table anyway. I didn’t realize there were more surprises up their sleeve…

So, when 8pm rolled around, the time of the first raffle drawing, you can imagine our excitement. We were also hoping to not be called because let’s face it…we all wanted the TV! Once the first iPod was given away, the announcer mentioned the second prize was an oil change. We definitely thought this was hilarious. If our name was called, think of how funny that would be! Well, they called another name, so we breathed easy. We were still in for the TV!

Not a minute later, they called the guy’s name again, “Second call” the announcer said. Then about a minute later, “Third and final call for the oil change”. Then it happened…they re-drew a name for the oil change. The announcer called out, “From Fairlawn, Jason King!”.

There it was. Jason, my unlucky husband, won something. A free oil change in a city over an hour away. Perfect.

So, after laughing our heads off for a while. We finally have our turn at skeeball and went to play our game. Our joy didn’t last long as we lost to a bunch of skeeballing pros.

I am a huge competitive person. To the point where it might be a disorder, so I was extremely ticked off that we lost and immediately wanted to get out of there! Jason, the patient person he is, said that we should just wait for the next drawing to see if we won something.

Then all of a sudden, I hear my name! I WON SOMETHING!!! Everyone around me was so excited for me and I kept asking what I won, but no one knew. So, I ran up to the front as fast as I could. I almost felt like my name being called was redemption for losing. The taste of victory finally and it felt great! I was smiling from ear to ear and when I approached the prize table I quickly raised my hand, so they knew it was my name they just called. I gleamed with pride…

And there it was…the OTHER free oil change gift certificate.

For the life of me, I can’t figure out if this is actually lucky or unlucky that both Jason and I won the only two free oil change gift certificates. I say unlucky because the prize is pretty much useless because the cost of gas to get there would be way more than the oil change by itself. Should we play the lottery or stay in the house for fear of us BOTH getting struck by lightening??

A Very Amateur Book Review–Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

I guess the ironic thing here is that my first blog post is about a book I just finished reading. However, it is a very good book and my inner-dork motivated me to write something about it!

So, I just finished the book “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell. It was a very good read and offered a different perspective on success and good fortune. This is probably one of the more challenging reads that I have had in quite some time, but because the material was interesting, it kept my attention.

Probably the most eye opening topic in the book, in my opinion, was about cultural backgrounds. There is so much to learn from a person’s heritage and family tree! I never knew that cultural background could be so pertinent in something like respecting authority. And those cultures that statistically test higher in respecting authority can possibly breed pilots that are more likely to crash a plane. Amazing how that is a factor in most plane crashes that have happened in our history. Basically, the co-pilots that notice something amiss would not speak up to the captain solely on the premise that they culturally just do not question authority! When a simple outgoing remark could have saved their lives, cultural norms held them back.

I am around so many diverse people on a daily basis, it makes me really want to learn more about where they come from…especially if from a different country. It would help anyone become a better leader or manager I would think.

The other eye opening piece of success, is sometimes, people are just lucky. They are born the right time or born in the right area of the country or born into the right family. These lucky placements in time get them around opportunities that others aren’t lucky to have. The timing was just right and the opportunity was there for the taking. Opportunity gives more practice and more practice makes you improve and improvement breeds more opportunity. So, you see, the main thing is opportunity. If given a CHANCE, some people can just take off perfectly in the right direction. The smartest person in the world would have a hard time living up to their potential if they were never let into college. The most talented athlete will never get better and have the opportunity to take their game to the next level, if the coach keeps them on the bench. It’s all about reps and hours and hours of doing what they do best.

This book has definitely driven me to read more “intellectually”. I’ve been stuck on fiction books my whole life and reading about these imaginary worlds. It’s finally nice to read something that is supported by actual facts!